In the shower the other day I was washing every part of my body and I thought about how this was the first time in my life that I actually just loved and accepted every part without having to force myself to.
It felt so natural that it almost took me off guard. I was lathering up and thanking every part for doing its’ individual thing and miraculously collaborating with all the other parts. I was filled with gratitude and didn’t have the other voices (for once!) fighting to be heard. this must be one of the many undeniable charms of getting olderâ€ť I thought to myself.
thanks legs, for helping me run all over the placeâ€¦whether It’s on a stage, or around my house, for helping me play sports or walk through an airport to baggage claim, or for buckling when I want to sob on the kitchen floor after a break up.â€ť
thanks feet for holding my whole body up every time I am standing up paintingâ€¦eating at my kitchen counterâ€¦watching a concert, waiting in line, running at the beachâ€¦how many times and how many hours I have stood or walked around or put all this pressure on my sweet little feetâ€¦running the streets of new york or in markets in far off lands.â€ť I realized what a co-conspirator my feet had been up until this point in helping me live my life’s purpose.
And I did this for as many parts of my body as I could visualize.
All of this in the face of the years I’d spent comparing myself to random standards that were held up, particularly in western cultures, as the idealâ€ť body. An ideal that left no room for the celebration of the millions of individual and different body sizes there are on this planet.
Even with all of this past comparing and objectifying and the tendency to have a lack of acceptance of cellulite or stretch marks or weight above averageâ€ť (whatever that means) or acne or anything else wonderfully humanâ€¦still, there I was, in my shower, loving my body for It’s vehicle and instrument-like qualities.
I was almost shocked by how far I had come in the acceptance of my body, knowing that I had once been in the throes of full blown eating disorders and had been fighting the voices that fuel those disorders up until the moment before I stepped into the shower. to celebrate this experience I purposefully walked naked and sopping wet right past the mirror in my bathroom, ignoring it, reflecting on how far I had come and victoriously smiling.
(I’ll need a few more thousand showers like that to get the voices completely eradicatedâ€¦but I am glad to have started this blessed ritual!)