What is something you used to feel shame about when you were younger, but now you are proud of?
Tags: "question for fans", alanis, pride, question, shame
Alanis’ Question for Fans
March 28th, 2012 6:39 pm
38 Responses
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Online
When I was younger I was very skinny and during my entire youth I had a serious problem with my self confidence, and that even got me depressed when I was 15yo. I even used to say to my mom that I wish I could be fat, so at least would be strong. I guess I’ve been through the same mind process of someone over weight not feeling good enough and wishing to be fit.But today being 25yo, and still skinny, I don’t feel bad anymore, ’cause after years and years of reflexion about myself, I discovered that the fact that for my age I am still under weight doesn’t matter anymore as long as I stay healthy. Accepting me how I am was my biggest shame, that today I’m so proud of.
I can remember as far back as nursery school the feelings I would get when a seizure began to overtake me. I would feel scared & lost, ashamed that I was going to be a problem for everyone else. To make it worse, at the time no one (including myself) knew these episodes were seizures. I went through my childhood & adolescence with them, continuously being told that there was no explanation & if I was sick, it was because of not taking care of myself. I hated myself for it & the way it would control me. I was afraid to tell other people & be an inconvenience. Then, in my early 20’s, I was finally diagnosed after an intensive research study at Johns Hopkins University Hospital. I’ll never forget that day when the doctor came in, smiled at me & said “We found it.” Now, my epilepsy is something I’m okay with, it’s something I’m proud of. It’s given me the ability to see the world a different way & help others who are in the position I was as a child. It’s taught me so many things & a lot of the experiences that shape me today would never have happened without my episodes. I’m proud to say that I have come to peace with it & embrace epilepsy as a part of me.
I felt ashamed as a child of two warts in my hand ……. do not think anybody has any pride in me ……. I am …. Borderline Insecure, give it all up, never finish what beginning, has not won anything just confusion in my mind.
Do not remember me ashamed of my childhood, I remember that I did not like public speaking, was terrified, today I still do not like (I confess) but I learned to deal with this situation, the first time that my mother I saw public speaking she wept and said he was proud of me. I still get nervous at times of presentations, seminars etc, but I learned to control myself and move on. = D
I felt different and I just wanted to blend in — in fact, I wanted to be invisible. Now I feel like I’m quirky but I’m fine. It’s me & there’s no reason to make an apology. I’m creative and proud of it.
being the oldest bother of six gorgeous sisters
i’m a lucky bucky
I used to be ashamed of not having lots of money. As a teenager I linked the things I had or could buy to worth. Now I drive a car that requires me to pull a string to close the door and tape for one window. I drive it like a badge of honor. Especially with the rise of 99% movement it has renewed my pride in getting by on so little. I realize in writing this I want my daughter to have the absolute best but when and if she becomes a consumer crazed teen, like I was, I don’t want her to tie her worth to our family’s ability to buy expensive things.
I used to be ashame of knowing how to play the guitar, play football and do ‘boy stuffs’, that’s how I thought I used to be, a little girl that likes boy stuffs. Now, that I’m 27 yo I know how silly I was judging myself as a masculine girl! I’m very proud of what I am capable of doing and now I tell everybody!
When i was young i didn’t like to be different from the others. It’s hard to feel alone cause you can’t see yourself doing or thinking the same of all your classmate. But today i think that it was important to see the things from another way. I’m proud of my sight of world, my concepts and my different style, cause i think it gives me more chance to understand how is beautiful the different kind of things in the world. (sorry about my english)
My awkwardness and theatrical personality was quite embarrassing as a child. I was teased relentlessly about these among other things. Now I see it as a gift. I sum up all of my uniquely strange traits as eccentricity. I don’t mind being different now. Different is nice and I embrace it.
I still make mistakes…(if that was a picture what would urs be?)I guess I’m OK with my Past now…but I started thinking about a song w/ a Good-Bye theme,after so many years I still havnt really said good-bye to a set of feelings…I heard her voice say “love him” in my mind the other day and maybe that could be a place to start…
I am ashamed of my entire childhood. I didn’t have a childhood and had to grow up really fast. Today, I am proud that my children can be kids, and have a childhood.
Be introspective. In that time I would like to be more spontaneous like the others and relaxed but I was shy and introspective. Now I am proud because I can see how much I could analyse my innerself, go deeper and how I have knowledge about my feelings and behaviour. I understand people so much more and I can see how superficial most of the relationships are. Now I know how hard is for them to go deeper, how dangerous is this way but how greatful it´s when we really find ourselves. I can say that today I am more relaxed and secure about me because I am so next to my feelings in a deep and amazing way.
Hi everybody! I´m from the south of Argentina so sorry for the mistakes. When I was younger I felt ashamed about my physical appearence, but life had taught me that happiness is not achieved by being beautiful but by being comfortable with ourselves, and having positive thoughts towards life.
When i was 26 i was diagnosed with schizophrenia…Although i was living with SZ for about a year prior to diagnosis..im 30 now…(26 IS young haha)
when i was diagnosed i was ashamed of it to the point of denial…Coupled with psychosis made for a mountain of frustration (denial) to those trying to get me help…
I remember being in the car with my mom coming back from a meeting with a doctor angrily telling my mom that they said i was cured (after she asked me how the session went)…
its been a tough couple of years but i can say that i am proud of my inner strength and courage to face the sometimes literal demons that come along with this illness…
so im never ashamed to admit to ANYONE that i suffer with this illness, im proud to say that YES i have schizophrenia that is why im having a tough time talking to you, that is why i may seem weird…
Im still working on getting myself back on track, im just getting out of a two month long psychosis/delusional state of awareness…but i feel pretty good..
(ok im rambling)
much love dudes and duddettes!!
I felt ashamed when people praised me for something I did or do, every day I want to compliment even better, I am proud of what I do
well always been ashamed for being me and now i dont feel that way much ever. BUT i still feel lost for who i am. not being understood can do that to you.
im perry special…
I was ashamed that I was so different from my friends. Now I am diagnosed with Schizoid Personality Disorder. And im on recovery with good help from a marvelous psychologist. I still have problems to communicate with people, but it doesn’t bug me anymore. I got some self-esteem back… And my life is going upwards again!!! I also understood when I was 10 years old that I was a lesbian, this also made feel different. But again, Im getting gradually better
Good Day Alanis,
In fifth grade I had a flirty interaction (for most of the school year) with a girl in my class. We passed notes and got in trouble for talking quite a bit. The school year was about to end and we were going to go to different junior high schools, so she wrote me a long letter and it ended with, “see you in 9th grade”. Off I went to junior high and in my sixth grade class there was a girl who would pass notes with several of the boys in my class (including myself). During that school year, blessed by Good Luck (didn’t know it at the time), the song, “short people” came out on the radio and was a bit hit (especially liked by people who don’t like short people). Since I was 12 years old at the time, the ol’ hormones were kicking in for many of the students in the school. The girl passing notes was no exception. AND, since I was the shortest male of my age group, she suddenly wasn’t keen about being interested in me much after she introduced me to her father. She later told me after that meeting that her father’s favorite song was, “short people”. Then, we had a lot of boys in our neighborhood that played sports. We’d play a lot of street Hockey. I, being an Islanders Fan, used to get into confrontations with rangers fans (I never started it), and they took the opportunity to serenade me with the song, “short people”. Needless to say, I’m very short, but I’m not ashamed of it now (it’s a Blessing), and I was bothered by it back then, not necessarily ashamed of it though. I don’t have a problem. shallow superficial people have a problem. There was a bully at my bus stop when I was going through all that I’ve mentioned. He was older and much bigger/taller. He used to insult me every day….Until……….I had enough. He pushed me…..I put my books down….and charged him, grabbing his legs, lifting him up, and I drove him into a very wide, tall, bushy sort of evergreen kind of tree. his face was riddled with pine needles. he left immediately. he never came back to the bus stop. he must’ve found another way to get to school. Now, and since I was about 30 years old, I’m fully aware of the Blessing (being very short) that I’ve been given by either, God, Fate, or whomever is in charge of making us who we are. If I ever get to meet the powers that be, and they say that I can choose what kind of body I can have in my next life, I’d choose to be exactly the way that I’ve been in this life.
Au Revoir……….
When I was young I cried for anything, I was too much sensitive, and have always been moody and nostalgic. Now I still am all these things but I’ve managed to channel them in a more appropriate way, in order to be served by these emotions, not being served by them.
Still hard sometimes, but at the same time I think my state of mind would be less spiritual without this “weakness” that I consider now as a force.
I guess my biggest shame as a kid came as a result of getting beat up one night. I was walking across a dark church lawn and one guy grabbed me by the throat and the other started punching. I remember having to go to school the next day with a swollen blackened eye and keeping quiet about it.
I couldn’t really say what happened as it would look like i was making up a story, so i didn’t say much. I couldn’t get even as i didn’t have the kind of friends who would do that and i was nervous of confronting them one on one as i knew they’d just gang up again. So I held the anger in and kept my distance, and kept my sometimes too big mouth shut. Anyway, that haunted me into my late teens when i was once again jumped by two guys and all this anger exploded that i’d been holding in over the past episode. I literally picked one of them up over my head and threw him across a ditch and onto the road. They changed their minds and ran off. So, I did feel proud and released from the humiliation of losing a fight. It was years later that i truly dealt with the situation and was able to do go back and see the situation from a different point of view. I forgave the two weiners who jumped me, and realized my weakness in the whole affair wasn’t my inability to beat up on those two but my pride in my ability to fight . Let go of that and the humiliation can’t happen and from what i’ve learned from life since then, the episode wouldn’t have happened in the first place if my pride hadn’t needed an adjustment.
When I was a child I used to be shy, I used to stay a lot of time at the library because I never could be very popular. The other childrens didn’t like me and I the only good place to stay for me was the library. Now I’m so much proud to have read a lot of good books and be a writer now, I learned to tell fantastic histories and that let me proud about my past so alone.
I was always shamed by my name as a child. Stewart just wasn’t a very popular nor traditional name. As I matured and found out the backgrounds of my name (great grandmothers maiden name) I became very proud of my namesake.
When I was young, i was shy and socialize with people was so hard. But today i´m proud of it because i learned to be selective with people.
And i have very good friend, a little, but awesome.
Please come to Colombia.
My long, glossy, soft brown hair turned gray when i was 29. I mourned it. But i learned it had some advantages. I’m only 45 but it got me the Seniors’ Discount and a seat on the bus! I was a Silver Fox. I dyed my hair recently, tho, because i can’t get a man to look at me. It’s not out of shame, tho, *i* LIKED my gray hair. I just decided to stop fighting City Hall. Slainte, Jane.
Alanis,the 1min video u did of “singing harmonies for Everything is so cute! Could u make more videos w/ that happy chic personality please0…I believe in “u”!
I used to think I was ugly and had very big ears. Luckily my ears havent grown since i was very little so now they look OK on my head. As for thinking I am ugly, I now have a beautiful wife and 2 children so I couldnt give a stuff who else thinks i’m ugly.
When I was younger I was ashamed of my Polish ancestry and heritage. Growing up in northern NJ (close to NYC), I heard all the “Polish” jokes and denied my heritage more often than not.
As I aged I traveled the world and began to experience different peoples and cultures. It was at this time that I traveled throughout Poland for a month (with a Polka band). After seeing my heritage in person and meeting relatives I never met, I fully embraced being Polish.
I am now proud to say I am a 1st generation American with a proud Polish background.
When I was a little girl, I was ashamed of what I now know as epilepsy. I went undiagnosed for 20 years so as a child, the seizures I experienced were something I was terrified to show. They were simple partial so only I could really feel them but without a diagnosis, it felt as if they should be something I should control & if I couldn’t, something is horribly wrong with me. Now, at 26, I’ve grown to accept epilepsy as part of me & even go as far as letting it inspire me, push me forward, give me strength & embrace as a whole. I’m proud that I have the strength that I do to withstand & hope I can share that with others who felt the same.
When I was little, the Count on Sesame Street use to scare the poop out of me. Now that I’m significantly older, I watch it with my niece and remember how I use to feel. Though I think it was silly, I learned that fear is something that is overcome, not run from, and it was a part of what made me who I am. I’m even good a math now!!!
1 ah ah, 2 ah ah, 3 ah ah, 4. lol
I used to feel ashamed of my sexuality. Growing up in Ireland wasn’t exactly the most accepting environment. Thankfully, years later times have changed and it’s so much more accepting now. I got to a point where I felt comfortable enough to tell my family and friends. I’m grateful they were so supportive because some people don’t have that supportive network.
When I was younger I was ashamed of having cerebral palsy. No matter where I went, if I was standing or walking I stood out. Automatically I was different. Up until high school I got teased a lot because I walk differently. I’m not sure what exactly happened around the 9th grade but it all just stopped. People grew up I guess. Now I am a member of the state of Florida’s Full Independent Living Council’s Youth Advisory Council, and an administrative assistant at the Center for Independent Living of the Keys, which is the center that offered me the opportunity that led to ending up on the youth council when I was a client there. As a member of this council and an employee of the center I help to advocate for people with disabilities to help them have better lives and be independent, contributing members of society. I am also currently studying to be a sign language interpreter and I participate in a volunteer bible education program as a bible teacher to the deaf in my community. Had I not been born with cerebral palsy I wouldn’t have found any of this. I never would have become an interpreter which is now a passion of mine. Now I am proud to be different
I have known I was into other girls not boys since I was old enough to understand what that meant. I used to be ashamed because I am from a very small town where it isn’t exactly the norm. Now I do not care what the world thinks of me for this. If they want to judge me for who I am attracted to and and for loving someone because they are same sex then I am not the one who should be ashamed.
If u asked me not long ago I would say everything…. But I lost myself to self hatred.. I wish I knew… only thing that contains the letters P.R. And D is the pride that I pretend to have..
Mines kinda short, but being gay would have been the one thing I was ashamed of… closeted for years as where i grew up it would have been looked down upon and shunned. Now.. I’m not sure you can call it proud to be gay…but im proud to be me…rather than to be what they all wanted me to be… I’d rather be unique than societal clone.
-C
Mi height
My height
Holding a gruge to long and rember peole make mistakes there is forgive ness in the world but what happens if there inmoral